I am so honoured to get to share Bec’s birth story with you. Bec and Aaron knew what they wanted really early and took charge of their pregnancy and birth from the get go. Bec had one concern with sharing her story, that it sounded too good and in some ways might not portray what birth is like for others. I reminded her that this is birth, that it comes in many forms and each and every birth is so different, and that you have every right to be incredibly proud and share how birth can be swift, calm, empowering and positive. It isn’t luck, it is because you invested time, energy and preparation. I know by sharing your story Bec you will help another couple. I was so hoping to get to see Bec in her power and support her and Aaron during birth, but baby Pia had her own plan.
Here’s their story…
Hypnobirthing is a large and important part of labour and birth for myself and my partner, Aaron. We attended and completed a different hypnobirthing course in Melbourne in 2019. This was an integral part of our preparation for the birth of our first born, Luca. Long story short, we had a positive birth experience resulting in a drug free, labour and birth in hospital after my membranes broke prior.
Fast forward to finding out this year that I was pregnant with Pia, I got in touch with Andi pretty early on as I knew that I needed to scrub up on our hypnobirthing skills! We soon realized that we did a different hypnobirthing course to what Andi teaches. Despite having the same principles, we found the courses can largely vary! Andi agreed to come and do a ‘refresher’ in our home with us on the main points we wanted to focus on. It was amazing having a ‘one on one’ session with her; we felt the time was utilized so well as it was catered to exactly what we needed and wanted to do so was straight to the point!
I was pretty keen fairly early on to try for a home birth and was discussing this with Andi from the get-go. I knew I wanted to have as little intervention as possible, however was accepting that of course may not go to plan on the day. We were open to having or wanting to go into hospital if need be, making decisions around that if and when we needed to. I chose our wonderful midwife based on the fact that she did home births, she was so supportive of our decision and wishes and thought it was a great option for us after having a pretty straightforward labour and birth with Luca. I also knew that I wanted to have the option for a water birth or at least have the pool for the more intense end of labour. I wasn’t able to use the water last time, as I was deemed ‘high-risk’ throughout my previous pregnancy.
We ended up hoping to have a water birth at home with the midwives, a close friend, Andi and Aaron. We had made a birth playlist, set up the fairy lights in the lounge in the weeks leading up to my ‘due date’ and hung up some hypnobirthing posters around the house. I set up candles and the diffuser in the lounge and had a tarp and plenty of old towels in the cupboard, ready to go for the big day!
My son was born on his ‘due date’ and I think that left me thinking our second would be around the same time, if not sooner! Funny how our mind can go that way, when really we have no idea when baby might make an appearance! Everyday that rolled on past that date I became more and more anxious. The ‘not knowing’ was probably the most mentally challenging this time around. With Luca I was fully expecting him to be ‘late’ as many first babies are, so I didn’t experience that last time. Between that and the constant “is baby here yet” messages, I was becoming increasingly on edge. I was in pretty constant contact with Andi over this time and she was an amazing pillar of strength and support, reminding me that baby will come when it is ready. She sent me a bunch of information on making informed decisions around intervention that made me feel comforted that there was still plenty of time to have a spontaneous labour. I would listen to my relaxations most nights in the bath, even more so around this time and would try and relax as much as possible.
The birth
I was 41weeks on the dot when labour began. I had jumped into bed for the evening, but couldn’t get to sleep. Not unusual for me (and many other mum’s to be!) as I had a lot of insomnia in the last trimester! I was lying in bed when I felt the first surge around 10:30pm. I felt quite relieved, ready and excited. I knew it was important to stay calm to keep any adrenaline at bay and to encourage the onset of labour to progress. I thought I would try and stay in bed as long as possible until the surges became too intense. I was focusing on my breathing techniques during and inbetween each surge. I didn’t bother waking Aaron as I knew I would need him and his energy for later, anticipating a long night. However, after maybe only 20-30 minutes from when the surges began they were getting too strong and I knew I needed my TENS machine on. I couldn’t believe they were at that point already and I thought maybe I was just not handling the surges as well this time around. So I woke Aaron, he put the TENS machine on and started getting the lounge ready.
He suggested getting the pool down from upstairs (which was already blown up) but we both agreed it was way too early for that. I was leaning over my swiss ball, listening to my relaxations and using my breathing techniques as I put essential oil on my wrists and breathed that in between surges.
Pretty soon I needed Aaron for hip squeezes to help me through each surge. We realized then that we should get the pool down however we were hesitant to start filling it as our midwife and many others have said not to do so until labour is well established! Although I knew the pool did take a while to fill so the timing was a little hard to navigate. I was timing the surges, they were becoming increasingly intense and I knew things were progressing quickly. At around 11:30pm my surges were 45-50seconds long and I was having three within 10 minutes. Aaron said its time to call the midwife and we both thought we cant be calling her an hour after labour had started! We were very wary that we didn’t want to call her too early, particularly late at night. But we decided that’s when she told us to call her so we did and she was over just before 12am. Andi and my friend couldn’t make it on the day due to work/ family commitments; I knew there was only a slim chance they could make it! We were both totally OK with that and content with the midwives support.
Our midwife arrived as things were really ramping up and she asked if I wanted to be checked. I had told her previously I wanted minimal vagainal exams, maybe only one (depending on how I was feeling on the day) and that I didn’t want to know how dilated I was. She checked and I remember very vividly asking “am I over 5?” she said “yes!” with a big grin! I then asked “am I over 7?” she said, “yes!” again, with a large grin. I didn’t know at the time as I asked her after the birth how far along I was, I was 10cm when she arrived! I heard her call the other midwife and I had also agreed for a student midwife to attend. They started filling up the pool as I continued laboring over the swiss ball and on all fours as Aaron squeezed my hips. I asked for the TENS to be removed at this point. I wanted to get in the pool to try get some relief but it was filling so slowly! Very soon everyone started boiling water on the stove and the kettle. This is exactly what I hoped would not happen! I was a bit disappointed knowing I would probably miss my chance to use the water. However, at the same time I was accepting, as I was open to the fact that everything would not necessarily going to plan, as they rarely do.
As things ramped up more I asked if I could go in, the midwife said yes but if I got the urge to push I would have to squat right down in the shallow water and stay there. That didn’t appeal to me so I stayed where I was on the floor. I suddenly had the urge to push! After maybe three or four self-guided pushes, Pia was born at 1.16am on the lounge floor. The student midwife caught her and tried passing her to me between my legs but I couldn’t pull her up. I had a very short umbilical cord and could only hold her when I had turned around. She only came up to around my belly button. I held her while we did delayed cord clamping, Aaron cut the cord and we waited for the placenta to be delivered which happened on it’s own around 50 minutes later. Aaron had some skin to skin in the meantime. She weighed 8lbs 4ozs (3.8kg) and had a head of dark hair. I had a second-degree tear (which I didn’t notice at the time) so my midwife stitched me up on my bed afterwards.
One of the best parts of having this home birth was being able to jump into my own shower then into my own bed not long after! We lay in bed with her until Luca woke up around 6am or so. He was upstairs and slept through the entire thing! So it was quite funny bringing him in in the morning to meet his sister who had arrived during the night, unbeknown to him.
I feel so grateful and empowered to have had the birth I had with Pia. I cannot recommend Andi and hypnobirthing highly enough! It really is worth it’s weight in gold and I would urge anyone expecting to give the course a go if you are able. Not only was it hugely beneficial for myself, but for Aaron too. We both had the knowledge to make informed decisions while learning techniques for us both to help me throughout labour and birth. If you’re on the fence.. do it! You absolutely won’t regret it!
